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Reblogged from gaywrites
My thoughts, Sir.

gaywrites:

Today’s food for thought:

Sex and the City actress Cynthia Nixon was widely praised for coming out a few years back, but in a recent New York Times interview, she made comments about her sexuality that have drawn serious criticism - and some praise - from the LGBTQ community. 

To avoid paraphrasing poorly, here’s the entire section that’s got everyone worked up:

“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.” Her face was red and her arms were waving. “As you can tell,” she said, “I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”

It’s pretty obvious why people would be angry with Nixon for making this statement. Saying that being gay is a choice negates the “born this way” argument of equality by implying that a person could just as easily choose to be straight. If gays are choosing the identity, this implies, why give them equal rights when they could just opt out of being gay altogether?

The Slate article above digs deeply into the issue that’s presented here: not necessarily whether being gay is a choice or not, but whether we can accept choosing to be gay as a legitimate way of embracing the identity. Is it bigoted to be angry with someone who says they chose their sexuality? Do we have the right to define someone’s “gayness”? 

I honestly don’t know how I feel about this yet, but I was definitely caught off guard at first read. What do you all think?

Okay, so, this got me going pretty good.

I’m what you’d call an individually minded person. I don’t give a damn about what others think and that’s the way it should be. When I read this it got me thinking about just how individually minded I really am; I don’t recognize myself as gay or bi or straight or asexual or whatever, rather, I simply live my life and let love find me when it wants to. I’m open-minded to the fact I may very well end up settling down with a man, and even embrace the thought. I’ll admit to liking guys, just as much and even more (at times) than I like girls, and I’m fine with it. I’m proud of who I am and I won’t let anyone get me down.

All personal bits aside, the thing am attacking is the fact that there are people within the gay community who are just as bad, if not worse, as the straight majourity when it comes to being close-minded. To get angry because someone says that they chose to be gay, to attack people for thinking that it’s not a genetic thing to be gay, it’s hypocrisy in my eyes. For a community of people who are looking to be recognised as equals to shun out people of their own community because they don’t believe they were born that way is simply turning around and attacking yourself. In other words, being selective as to who can and can not be given the equal rights.

If you think you have to be born gay to be an actual gay then do you believe there is a gay gene? Do you think we should go and isolate that gene so we can chose if we want a gay child or a straight one? Are we going to start doing blood tests to determine the quality of one’s gayness? Perhaps I’m taking this too far, or bending it into what I want it to seem, but to me that’s what is being done.

Feel free to disagree. I don’t care. I’m an inanimate object: an angry hamburger.

Notes

  1. actyourrage reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif and added:
    Fuck homonormativity and fuck “born this way”. I didn’t make a choice to be queer, but if I had the choice, I’d still be...
  2. briefbutstillinfinite reblogged this from bodyentire
  3. donteatmeblog reblogged this from gaywrites and added:
    Okay, so, this got me going pretty good. I’m what you’d call an individually minded person. I don’t give a damn about...
  4. mxnotmrdarcy reblogged this from starkslut
  5. imfromdriftwood reblogged this from gaywrites
  6. wyatt-w-britton-esq answered: I love what Cynthia Nixon said. It hits the point on the head.
  7. broken-torn-loved reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif
  8. angharadgwyn reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif and added:
    I totally agree. Sexuality has always been a choice for me and I’m glad someone finally said what I’ve been thinking all...
  9. angharadgwyn answered: I totally agree. Sexuality has always been a choice for me and I’m glad someone finally said what I’ve been thinking all along.
  10. shortcrazygirl answered: I don’t think attacttion to anyone is a choice. Acting on and accepting that attraction is.
  11. sukipants reblogged this from gaywrites and added:
    Of course it’s no one but Nixon’s choice to decide how she defines her sexuality, but I think the word “choice” is...
  12. happybluebirds reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif
  13. crazyalliemonkey answered: I’m on the fence to be honest. I’m all for people not labeling and being what ever but I know I was born this way and I’m proud!
  14. showmethe-ocean reblogged this from galaxyeater
  15. knylecoj reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif
  16. homo-ursus reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif
  17. cookiebelle reblogged this from galaxyeater
  18. avahyped reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif
  19. galaxyeater reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif
  20. rumsoakedlesbiansim answered: yes!
  21. quinception reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif
  22. acatisjustacat reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif and added:
    This, enough said.
  23. wherelovegrows reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif and added:
    I agree it matters that we are here and there’s nothing wrong with us. But for me! I was just always gay. No way around...
  24. starkslut reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif and added:
    Why does it matter if it’s biological or a choice? We live in a free country, we have the right to choose to be whatever...
  25. rainbowcolorz reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif
  26. zeromissedtrains answered: i think she is just talking about bisexuality. she’s been with men and women and she made a choice between this two. that’s what i got.
  27. littlelumberjack reblogged this from youmightbealesbianif
  28. youmightbealesbianif reblogged this from cantfindmenowcanyou
  29. vitouribe answered: Kinsey scale… those who are bisexual do get to choose while those of us that are exclusively homosexual or heterosexual don’t
  30. gayvernon reblogged this from gaywrites and added:
    I think people really need to actually listen to what she said because it makes perfect sense. I didn’t choose to be gay...
  31. freeourgen answered: If being gay is a choice then by default so isn’t being straight who’s to say theres a right or wrong choice
  32. yoturnitup reblogged this from gaywrites and added:
    Not a choice for me. Interesting read, though.
  33. allthingsit answered: I’ve never looked at it this way before, it’s very interesting. I think she’d be referred to as bisexual and I’d like to know why not.
  34. gaywrites posted this